It has often been said that the minute you get angry is the minute you lose. If you start shouting at somebody in sheer frustration, you’ve lost. If you get angry about something, you’ve lost.
Your emotions towards a situation get out of hand, you don’t think straight. You don’t act rationally. You’re so frustrated that you can’t function properly; you lash out. Your emotions get the better of you, and you lose. You lose your patience, your temper, your attitude; you lose respect from the people around you.
We must learn to get a handle on our emotions and control our minds if we are to succeed.
Do you ever watch tennis? More specifically, when Novak Djokovic plays Rafa Nadal. If things aren’t quite going Nadal’s way, he seems very quick to anger, and you can sense that it is effecting his game. He’s full of nervous energy and lost in pre-serve rituals, whilst Djokovic, at the other end of the spectrum, is a picture of steely focus and determination. A game between these two is pretty much a perfect example of how being angry or being calm can effect you.
That being said, even Djokovic has been known to lose it on occasion; but he is quick to regain his calm and composure. It’s not about always being calm and totally blocking off any emotion; we’re human, not completely numb after all! It’s being able to calm yourself and regroup quickly and effectively when you feel that you are about to get angry and overly emotional in the heat of a moment.
We need to learn the art of introspection; know our triggers and weaknesses, and become expert at noticing when they might rear their ugly heads. And when we do notice that anger and frustration are rising within us, it is time to slow down. Breathe. Think. Don’t respond with anger. Words said in the heat of the moment are usually regretted. Take a metaphorical step back and assess the situation; how can you make it better? Make things go more in your favour?
Of course, we’re never going to stop ourselves from feeling anger when something seems to go against our grain of thinking; if we’re so involved in something, and want it to go well. We just need to better process our thoughts and feelings so as not to make a situation worse. Giving yourself some space when you feel angry and considering what can be done to make it better, and what we can learn from it, is always going to have more positive outcomes.
So next time you feel as if you are about to blow a fuse and flip out, remain calm and give yourself time to process and think, before reacting. Don’t be rash, don’t be hasty. Do anything that will prevent you from losing complete control of the situation.
© The Motivation Project 2019